The idea of the Backpack.

Being the backpack can be so hard. I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in May of 2023. By Jan. 2024 my liver enzymes were in the critical area. I was going on a cruise in February and was told by my healthcare team not to go. Though I was determined that I wanted to be a part of it all. The only way I was able to be on the ship was if I sat in a wheelchair with zero movement on my part. Just sitting at eating all day. This was so hard for me, being 23 and always active. That and the visible thought of being seen in a wheelchair. It was sole crushing. The first night on the ship was found with MANY tears, and regret. Both on my part and my parents for putting me on the ship. Finally, we came up with the thought of being piggybacked. That way it didn't look like I couldn't walk, but more like I was just having a fun time. Well, we tried it the next night, and were met with the fact that my dad got to dinner looking like he had just gotten out of a swimming pool. I thought I was stuck back in the wheelchair and was crushed again. Until I had the thought to reach out to a friend on the cruise. We explained the situation and he said he was happy to help. This brought me so much joy and relief. The rest of the week I was carried to and from dinner, shows, and anywhere else I needed to go around the ship. This sparked the nickname of "backpack". I loved it, it made me feel like a normal person again. (A feeling I hadn't had in a while.) A few weeks later I was struggling again, this time though it was more mentally. It was perfect timing however, because that same day I saw my friend that carried me around the ship again. He asked me how I was, and my mom proceeded to say, "it's a backpack day". That night I got thinking that we all need to be a backpack sometimes. Whether that is mentally we need a pick me up or maybe even physically. Trust me I KNOW it sucks to have to come out and ask for help. Though when you do you realize just how many people are in your court. It makes life so much easier to get through with the help of others. Also, at the end of the day those who have helped you may also need someone from time to time. This is the perfect time for you to become the carrier of the backpack and the one to lend that helping hand. We all need someone to lean on every once in a while. Never give up. The only way to get through life is by helping one another along the way. No one is in this journey alone.